So after I watched the “It gets better” ad commercial- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7skPnJOZYdA I told you all that I was bi.

I want you guys to know that it’s just who I am, I can’t change it and I don’t want to either. I know that the road I have ahead of me is going to be rough, but I have a great support system to walk down that road with me.

Okay so here’s why I’m posting this today right now…

Last night I told my dad that I was bi.

It started out as a fight about my weight and depression… He just kept asking “Why the fuck would you be depressed?!” So I just sat there crying for the longest time. I just wanted to scream out, “I’m bi! And I hate myself for it! That kinda shit can really fuck a person up!” And then I finally just said it… I did I said just that too. 

But guess what he said and did… (You’d never believe it, but it’s true!)

He hugged me and said “RIGHT ON!” and “Now I get it… I remember how that same thing screwed me up and made me this. I’m so proud of you and I have so much respect for you right now, because it takes an enormous amount of guts to say that.”

So you see for the fist time ever my life doesn’t suck so bad, and now I think that me and my father might get along now.

I just wanted to post and say thanks to all of you for giving me the courage to not just tell other people but tell myself. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! ♥

I should be dead right now! Last night I swallowed enough pills to take down an elephant! But for some odd reason I still still woke up this morning… No I didn’t cut this time, so that streak hasn’t been broken. But I did try to go last night! I still want to but I just… I don’t want your pity, or your sob stories telling not to think that about myself because it won’t work! I just want to be heard! I’m going to see my therapist and my doctors soon. After that I don’t know what will happen, if I’ll be given new medication, or sent to a mental hospital, or If they just send me on my way and I do it anyhow… I don’t know whats going to happen next.

Try getting mentally bitch slapped everyday by the people that are supposed to love you the most! You would start to believe in the things that they say too! You would feel the same as me right now; broken, torn, lost, hurt, alone, to far gone to turn back. 

So I have been working on a support group for anyone especially Trenchers to get in on when we need to talk… 

The rules and links are as followed…

The deal to:

1. to post once a day to know the others your doing okay.
2. Or post to notify when this cannot be done. 
3. When one is in distress and needs to talk you send out the post ”BADGER!”
4. No matter the hour or the reason you must post, message, or send this out in anyway possible.
5. You have to know that you aren’t bothering anyone by posting this. That is what the Trench Fam is for! To help out each other when we need it!

So here’s the deal…

I’ve been though a bit in that last little while…

1. I’ve been in and out of my home going back and forth to my sisters to escape my father
2. I was actually kicked by my father! (I’m okay now though don’t worry too much)
3. After all this I’m still living at home… With my father and my mother…

For the past few months another member of the Trench Fam and I have had I deal, or pact if you will… It is called the BADGER Pact. It is now being brought up to the rest of you because I couldn’t be there for her, and she ended up in the hospital. She is okay now but because I missed her message I missed a chance to stop her from doing what she did. But by getting the rest of the Trench Fam in on this we can help each other NoMatterWhat! 

Our deal was:

1. to post once a day to know the other is okay.
2. Or post to notify when this cannot be done. 
3. When one is in distress and needs to talk you send out the post ”BADGER!”
4. No matter the hour or the reason you must post, message, or send this out in anyway possible.
5. You have to know that you aren’t bothering anyone by posting this. That is what the Trench Fam is for! To help out each other when we need it!